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Parents Care To Children For Their Mental Security
Every now and then, without repeating the exact words, it is helpful to reflect what you think a child is feeling, as a way of giving a child the opportunity to confirm that you have understood, or to clarify. Review the facts of what actually happened; reassure children in age-appropriate ways that they are safe. While talking to toddlers, responses can be simple and direct: “I love you and I will always do everything I can to make you safe.” Allow children know that many people and organizations are working to make us safe. Always reassure children that while there are people who do things that are hard to understand, we live in a wonderful country and, for the vast majority of the time, we are safe. Always answer questions as clearly and honestly as you can, using developmentally appropriate language and definitions. If you don’t know the answer to a child’s question, say so and make a plan to try to find out. Do correct yourself if you give incomplete or inaccurate information, don’t be afraid of making a mistake; when we admit our mistakes, adults model for children how to admit their own mistakes. Try to be direct about acknowledging mistakes and avoid defensiveness; say, “I made a mistake.” Recognize that there are people who hate other people, and that hateful actions can be threatening. Contribute to your perceptions and feelings but try to avoid conveying hopelessness, without diminishing the seriousness of a situation, it is important to keep perspective and convey it to children. Forever avoid giving young children more specific detail than necessary, be careful not to frighten children. Do limit children’s exposure to media coverage of violent events. Kids need to know that people are not powerless in the face of hate; there are many things children and adults can do. Encompass regular discussions about ways people can address hate, brainstorm ways to address these concerns at home, in school and in the community. About the Author
Jennifer Fairbanks is a community supporter and researcher in violence against women along with her side business family violence prevention fund.
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